When a country becomes your lover
written from an air port in Romania:
In the pursuit of happiness
When a country becomes your lover, your mother
I left Egypt..feeling all ready to get up and leave, it’s what I always wanted and what I forever seeked and finally the time has come. But as the time drew closer to the final minutes, I felt every bit of me resisting the leave. It’s true that I forever longed and aspired to study abroad especially in London, especially at LSE and strangely enough it was my wish to indulge myself in environment and development issues…it was all coming true, like a dream.
But a cloud of sadness I never anticipated shadowed over my heart, for how do u leave the ones you love behind? What promises do you have for them? You know you will change, because you want to , you want to move forward or rather freely fly above, discovering new skies, walking on new grounds, meeting fresh faces, and breathing different air bearing a different meaning. Would they recognize your changes, and what was love in all this? Does it face the challenge? Does it transform into something different?
On going to London, my aim is to discover myself on the journey of pursuing happiness. I want to study hard and learn new things every day from everything I do, I want to attend seminars and conferences and events all year long to broaden my interests. I want to read a lot and read deeply in a wide range of subjects to gain a deeper understanding and broaden my horizon of opportunities. I want to create possibilities. I want to meet new people with diverse backgrounds, find a friend in each, see myself in others and form close and long lasting relationships. I want to join different groups and organizations to develop my leadership skills, project management and initiation, sit and talk to people with similar interests..etc. I want to do sports and adopt a healthy lifestyle from nutrition to habits to relationships and thoughts..think positive, think healthy. I wanted music, art and theater to dance around my life, I wanted to engage in new activities I never tried before or tried and loved but forgot so why not try them again. I wanted independence, to be fully responsible for myself. I wanted to create my own private space and personalize it. I wanted me and wanted her happy and true in every word, in every action. I know I am no where near there yet..but if I know what road I wanna dig, then I better start digging, it may be hard but u’ll enjoy it..enjoy the laughs, the late night talks with random people, the dancing , the fun…and enjoy the struggle. Above all, I wanted to discover my passion, my drive. It might not happen this year or in these countries, but I have an idea and the idea will grow and change with me till we are found. I want to find my voice.
This was to be my chance for a life changing experience and I am determined to make the most of it. The journey of personal development is gaining over heated momentum and although I may be in tears now thinking of those I will miss, I will meet the challenge with a smile. I know that this is what they want for me, I know that this is what I want for me J
And when I come back, I come back for you for I have loved you. I loved my country and though I have resented it at times, I know that deep down, I loved it’s people even if at times their ignorance drove me away. I wanted to see them in a better state, I will strive in due time for this goal. We owe it to ourselves. Right now, my country seemed to me the lands I loved and the faces I did not want to go without. The face of my lover.
In the pursuit of happiness
When a country becomes your lover, your mother
I left Egypt..feeling all ready to get up and leave, it’s what I always wanted and what I forever seeked and finally the time has come. But as the time drew closer to the final minutes, I felt every bit of me resisting the leave. It’s true that I forever longed and aspired to study abroad especially in London, especially at LSE and strangely enough it was my wish to indulge myself in environment and development issues…it was all coming true, like a dream.
But a cloud of sadness I never anticipated shadowed over my heart, for how do u leave the ones you love behind? What promises do you have for them? You know you will change, because you want to , you want to move forward or rather freely fly above, discovering new skies, walking on new grounds, meeting fresh faces, and breathing different air bearing a different meaning. Would they recognize your changes, and what was love in all this? Does it face the challenge? Does it transform into something different?
On going to London, my aim is to discover myself on the journey of pursuing happiness. I want to study hard and learn new things every day from everything I do, I want to attend seminars and conferences and events all year long to broaden my interests. I want to read a lot and read deeply in a wide range of subjects to gain a deeper understanding and broaden my horizon of opportunities. I want to create possibilities. I want to meet new people with diverse backgrounds, find a friend in each, see myself in others and form close and long lasting relationships. I want to join different groups and organizations to develop my leadership skills, project management and initiation, sit and talk to people with similar interests..etc. I want to do sports and adopt a healthy lifestyle from nutrition to habits to relationships and thoughts..think positive, think healthy. I wanted music, art and theater to dance around my life, I wanted to engage in new activities I never tried before or tried and loved but forgot so why not try them again. I wanted independence, to be fully responsible for myself. I wanted to create my own private space and personalize it. I wanted me and wanted her happy and true in every word, in every action. I know I am no where near there yet..but if I know what road I wanna dig, then I better start digging, it may be hard but u’ll enjoy it..enjoy the laughs, the late night talks with random people, the dancing , the fun…and enjoy the struggle. Above all, I wanted to discover my passion, my drive. It might not happen this year or in these countries, but I have an idea and the idea will grow and change with me till we are found. I want to find my voice.
This was to be my chance for a life changing experience and I am determined to make the most of it. The journey of personal development is gaining over heated momentum and although I may be in tears now thinking of those I will miss, I will meet the challenge with a smile. I know that this is what they want for me, I know that this is what I want for me J
And when I come back, I come back for you for I have loved you. I loved my country and though I have resented it at times, I know that deep down, I loved it’s people even if at times their ignorance drove me away. I wanted to see them in a better state, I will strive in due time for this goal. We owe it to ourselves. Right now, my country seemed to me the lands I loved and the faces I did not want to go without. The face of my lover.
