Is that the worst way to start an entry...still hopeful but disappointed
CFA going badly, blogging is as you can see and yeah, a lot of other things are not coming through..what a depressing checkpoint huh??! It bothers me at times, at many others i feel happy trying though..but i's not enough.
Documenting development...my new promise, to document incremental moments of my development and understanding of my surroundings. So much goes unnoticed and even more forgotten..it's about time i stopped realizing the way my memory retrieves, much will be left and misunderstood till one day i remember how, when and where it happened. Then i will forgive happenings.
I turned 21 yesterday. I spent it with someone. Is this to document? It's new. It's odd. It's happiness. But, often it seems like a loss too, the reason the above is going badly maybe?? I don't know..It's my stance to shape and define. Put all your heart out there..risk it with might. Throw all your dreams out there..fight for them and chase them to realizations..watch them change, watch you change..remember me with it all. Be true and there for me, I'm the one who takes u in for healing when all nights end for another beginning. Disappointing celebrations, considering the stars..consider me again. There must be more to it, i have to find more of it.
Ambition vs Trust. Love vs Possession. Jealousy vs Confidence. Want vs Need.
And i once loved white roses...i still do i know.
Going to the referendum on Monday. I have something to say. While i can still say it.
I wrote this a while back to post..took me sometime to post :S :
"Thrown away, I feared being thrown out of the way
In a country..there was a country were people longed to freely speak and demand a right. A right to live without fear. Are we all living for that? For the love of another, for the love of a country..there was a need to stand for the right.
Is loving your country something you are born with? I don’t know. Is it a duty to love your country? Does it mean you love its people or its land or its air.. what resemblance did it hold for me? I love it; I always want to see it better. But sometimes I didn’t love it as much. I claim to aspire living as a responsible global citizen for the development of our world. I wondered how true I was. I believed we are all entitled to search for our belonging, for the right to live wherever we want..borders always come into play and I wondered how sometimes a place finds you, captures you before you begin to search. I have not been captured yet, I wondered still.
And can a religion rule you? Where was the freedom to embrace difference? Must it be defined for all? I wanted to live otherwise.
I heard of women who struggled and fought in many lands to challenge boundaries, to create space for generations to come. I saw silenced eyes watching women and their children unquestioned to a doomed destiny while we look the other way. I watched some of Tahani Rachid’s documentaries and was left stunned. But will I remain just stunned. There were women who lived lives rich in battles against upheld institutions believing in the goodness of the people and their right to a better sphere. I watched women in
I lived seeing my mom saddled by burden on burden, getting closely intact and entangled in her fights for me and my sister to live a struggle free life, to have a better life than her. Yes, maybe we do fight for the next generations to have it better than we do cause we know it should not be like this if we can envision a better alternative. Do we know they will appreciate it? Sometimes I think the world is in conflict with the way we consume and abuse the environment and then we get a wake up call for sustainable development when we know future generations will pay the cost of our greed for growth, our chosen blindness to climate change and then we say it’s time to fix it all..is everyone in on fixing ? Who sacrifices for whom then? I wondered.
