A statement of regret!
That's the name pf the play i went to see last friday, but u knowing me, u know i will throw something else at you..it all has to do with me. Monitoring me.
What have i learned about myself lately? that I over regret if that was ever a case. I am incapable of making decisions in fear of regret. I calculate and think of all the options then end up making a hasty descision that i come to later regret. Although every descision opens the door to a new opportunity. That is in fact true. So why do i regret so much. Because i have fallen in the deep trap where i no longer know what i want. So i wait for ppl to decide and i hate ppl and their descisions, so i do what? wait for signs sent from above? go with instinct? What ever these are, i do not believe in the valididty of any othem, and so i end up doing what i fear the most. Regretting. And so, i have to look and search hard for what i want.
What do i want?
Freedom, independance, development,travelling
I want to read and learn a lot, i want to work and practice what i learn and learn from different and random experiences, i want to travel around, i want to help my country and the deloping world. Did i want love? i can safely say i do not have a clear answer to that? i don't want to say don't we all? i don't know though it seems like a very basic and true answer. But regardless of how little value i put on human relations which only act to bother me n the end. I must make time to go out of my way for my family i guess. To be close to the people i love.
Do i still sound confused, i pretty much am. I just want to clear my head when i'm walking and thnk of all these questions but for the moment and leave the future for the future. Religon? Identitiy? Love and all that..yes, these were my questions and i will take my time raising them and playing with them. Loving them, loving me.
i met many people, i saw them in different light, i needed to put more thought into them. i needed to talk to you.
And lastly, i want to add something about sustainability. I took the ecological footprint survey and we will need 2.1 plants if everyone lived like i did. We only have one though and questions of sustainability and an uncertain future are raised everywhere. I raise them now. I also raise questions on convergence in the 'global' economy. One thing is true, this race is not sustainable the way it is, but we can make it with huge effort, we can. Technology and R&D. The world's biggest hope. But hopeful can we be?
I leave you now to look for some answers and end up thinking up new questions..i leave u to go look for some happiness :)
What have i learned about myself lately? that I over regret if that was ever a case. I am incapable of making decisions in fear of regret. I calculate and think of all the options then end up making a hasty descision that i come to later regret. Although every descision opens the door to a new opportunity. That is in fact true. So why do i regret so much. Because i have fallen in the deep trap where i no longer know what i want. So i wait for ppl to decide and i hate ppl and their descisions, so i do what? wait for signs sent from above? go with instinct? What ever these are, i do not believe in the valididty of any othem, and so i end up doing what i fear the most. Regretting. And so, i have to look and search hard for what i want.
What do i want?
Freedom, independance, development,travelling
I want to read and learn a lot, i want to work and practice what i learn and learn from different and random experiences, i want to travel around, i want to help my country and the deloping world. Did i want love? i can safely say i do not have a clear answer to that? i don't want to say don't we all? i don't know though it seems like a very basic and true answer. But regardless of how little value i put on human relations which only act to bother me n the end. I must make time to go out of my way for my family i guess. To be close to the people i love.
Do i still sound confused, i pretty much am. I just want to clear my head when i'm walking and thnk of all these questions but for the moment and leave the future for the future. Religon? Identitiy? Love and all that..yes, these were my questions and i will take my time raising them and playing with them. Loving them, loving me.
i met many people, i saw them in different light, i needed to put more thought into them. i needed to talk to you.
And lastly, i want to add something about sustainability. I took the ecological footprint survey and we will need 2.1 plants if everyone lived like i did. We only have one though and questions of sustainability and an uncertain future are raised everywhere. I raise them now. I also raise questions on convergence in the 'global' economy. One thing is true, this race is not sustainable the way it is, but we can make it with huge effort, we can. Technology and R&D. The world's biggest hope. But hopeful can we be?
I leave you now to look for some answers and end up thinking up new questions..i leave u to go look for some happiness :)
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